Surely this sort of terrible showing can't be an accident? There has to be someone high-up in Sony orchestrating as quick an exit from the hardware industry as possible?




Yes, you used to be good, didn't you? People used to clap, not laugh, didn't they? Sony's 2008 showing wasn't at quite the same level of hilarity as E3 "Giant Crab" 2006, but it got close to previous depths.

HOME (AGAIN): No release date. For a chatroom it's giving away free. This is going to be the biggest financial disaster in modern gaming, the biggest since since SEGA buried 350,000 32Xs in a disused coal mine in North Wales.

A BUDGET RANGE: Games you can buy on eBay for $9 will be sold in shops for $30. It's this sort of sound business sense that Sony has become renowned for since the launch of PS3.

RESISTANCE 2: The world's most generic shooter gets a sequel. Watching a robot giving a PowerPoint presentation of all the prime numbers would be preferable.

KILLZONE 2 (AGAIN): The surprisingly popular sequel to a PS2 game no one really liked. Awesome. It might come out next year, maybe.

RATCHET & CLANK FUTURE: QUEST FOR BOOTY: The name says it all. Stuff like this is not a reason for adults to spend £300 on a console, is it?

LITTLEBIGPLANET (AGAIN): The world's most niche game, seemingly developed specifically for the benefit of 150 people who post on internet forums. The internet Sony cum-buckets will love it - actual sales to normal people will number in the 100s.

THE REST: Misery. Misery. Crushing pain. Depression. Misery.

THE RESULT: Perhaps 2009 will be the year Sony brings out the big guns. Or reveals PS4 as a low-power party machine.