After we got hold of some delicious, illegal drugs, heretofore referred to as "hanky-panky", we shortly realized that Tekken is THE BEST SERIES EVER and we really love it. Yes, we do! We met ourselves in an Econo Lodge off a dimly-lit dirt road to find out why:
Us: Hello. That is a nice tie you have on there.
Us: Thanks. We found it in a trashcan outside Subway. We were lucky enough to get our delicious meatball sub AND a snazzy tie!
Us: Is that so?
Us: Yes. We cannot afford proper clothes. We have a deep fondness for Maddog 20/20 and Thunderbird, and of course, the "hanky-panky". *Winks at us* Can't get enough of that Thunderbird!
Us: So, ourselves, WHY do you love Tekken so much? Are you secretly working for Kutaragi?
Us: Why yes, of course.
Us: Really?
Us: No, we lie, because we have an addiction to cheap fortified wine. *Drinks more Thunderbird*
Us: Certainly there must be SOME reason why you love it so much. The graphics? The music? The fact that it's always been PlayStation exclusive?
Us: Yes to all! Virtua Fighter is t3h sUxoRZ! ^o^
Us: Wow. We sure admire your enthusiasm. So how long have we been a PS3 owner?
Us: Why, since launch day! And we also use the DualShock 3 as a sex toy.
Us: Speaking of sex... We've always been... smitten for ourselves...
Us: Yes indeed...we have... and we can't hold back our feelings any longer...
Us: Oh...
Us: Oh..!
Us: Oh yes...
Us: Oh yes...!
Us: Oh yes!
Us: OH YES!!
Us: Oh...oh...oh yes! OH YES! OH YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE SPLOOGE
And that's why we love Tekken so much.
Labels: GONZO, LIES, PR DISASTER
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