UK:RESISTANCE 'main page'
ASTEROID CRASH - EXCLUSIVE REVIEW
SEGA's made another free internet game. This way is best, as you're left much less broken and disappointed when it turns out to be rubbish.

But Asteroid Crash is actually quite good!


Monkey Ball promotional mini game

Asteroid Crash proves Commandment One of the video game world - anything that involves the collecting/gathering/sorting of bananas will always be good.


And a great source of potassium

The game reinforces the message that bananas are a force of good by telling you you're bad if you shoot a banana.


Shoot

It also proves Commandment Two - You should always be able to explain how to play a game and what it's about in one sentence, else it's too contrived.


From the maker of Chaos Crush

It's by Michael Dobbins again. When he puts his mind to it he can deliver. Well done, Mike. We're saddened that you haven't responded to our interview request yet :(


The End

Nice, but not really anything to do with Monkey Ball. 7/10.


PLAY IT HERE:
Super Money Ball: Banana Blitz. ASTEROID CRASH MINIGAME (capital letters SEGA's own).


SOME OTHER VIDEO GAME COMMANDMENTS:
  • All the buttons should just be 'jump'

  • Music shouldn't have lyrics, but if it has to the lyrics should only be about how nice a place the game world is

  • Girl characters should be rubbish and slow

  • The plot should only be mentioned in the manual

  • The sky should be blu... oh. Have we done this before?
    • Posted by Cmdr_Zorg 2:05:00 pm