THE SLIGHTLY CONFUSING EMAIL: "First of, this was once british HP sauce and not that crap you find in tesco budget sauce so it tasted awesome, it was just tomato sauce and pasta, thats it!! it says it got no E ingredientes so happly give it to your kids. The shapes of the pasta where: Sonic, chopper, batbrain, orbinaut, ball hog, sally acorn - no tails even though he's on the front cover of the damn tin. Muzzymon."
Beautiful artwork, so much better than the US version. Really captures the essence of Sonic 1 and makes you proud to live in a country that feeds its children on licensed pasta snacks.
Sonic was spotted fronting a back street karaoke bar in Japan.
"Hey, this is from a health food store window in London, Ontario, in Canada. You guys rejected my request on Xbox Live but you must get a lot anyways. But I'll let you know once I get my Live account up and running again. Hope you like the pic."
This is Sonic, spotted breakdancing at the French 'Micromania Game Show'. It will be taken off YouTube by the time you read this, as that's what always happens.
These are of Sonic, spotted endorsing a Meccano rip-off building contest in Stockholm! Thanks for the photos, man from Stockholm.
Some nice Sonic graffiti, upon which a heartless vandal has drawn on a very small penis.
This final photo of Sonic and his bitches concludes today's list of weird things Sonic has been spotted doing recently. Chicks are hot for animals that are into Meccano and breakdancing, apparently.
Labels: GONZO
We've already managed two over the top one and are saving the second one for the evening session.
Labels: MEAT BAGS (WOMEN)
If there's one thing we really hate it's sexism, particularly when combined with a family activity such as, say, video games.
This MUST be a joke, though? Even the currently LUNATIC Sony surely wouldn't stoop this low? Although the site hosting the ads seems legitimate and serious and not like the sort of site fooled by fakes.
Some proper web site ought to send these PS2 adverts to Sony and ask for a comment on their authenticity. If they are real, that's the massive Sony scandal taken care of for this week.
WHERE IT CAME FROM: "Here is a picture of a Sonic the Hedgehog Daddies Tomato Sauce bottle I've had at the back of my cupboard since 1991. I've been meaning to send you guys this picture for ages. Best wishes, Mr Jakeway."
The product was withdrawn from sale in 1992, following complaints that several children were traumatised by seeing Sonic leaking 'blood' from a sizable head wound.
OTHER SONIC-RELATED PRODUCT UPDATES:
The Tails bathtime wanking lube The Sonic single man food
Please send more. It's important that this kind of utter rubbish is saved as a warning to future generations about overly whoring out and devaluing their brands.
It would also appear he has "Sky plussed it" for repeated viewing. We would all do well to learn from this example.
THE EMAIL: "I was flicking round a few TV channels the other day and spotted Emily Booth on xleague.tv. I took a few photos, thinking that you might appreciate them seeing as you've not done an update on her in AGES.
THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FRIGHTENING: "Then, while looking through them, I noticed that if you took the two that I've sent to you and had them alternating in some sort of animated GIF, that it could be used by the entire nation as an aid to all the celebratory wanking going on these days, what with the downfall of Sony etc. Sorry I didn't do the aforementioned GIF myself but I'm crap at computers. Cheers, Gary".
We have emailed XLEAGUE.TV with a request for an interview with Emily. Hopefully she is not aware of who we are and what we have done about her in the past, and will agree.
Skills. The official UKR Mini. If you want this design, leave a comment on this post and, if you're lucky, Mr Jax will sort you out. Or sell you one for a million credits.
We have copped out and chosen two winners, as this car's frankly awesome too. Totally custom Spiel Macht Frei font work, nice colours, just all-round amazing. Again, feel free to use the Comments bit to arrange deals. As we don't have a forum.
Nice deep red. Goes well with the black. We're not art critics, but that's one shit-hot-looking car.
Another one by Captain Jax, refining his design skills - and still not his highest placing. We're not sure how to handle distribution of these cars, by the way, so it's probably best to negotiate deals yourselves in the Comments bit.
And if we become the internet that means we'll have to spend all day looking at ourselves instead of Asian teens.
Captain Jax's first Mini. It's nice, but Mini II blows it away.
Another cool car, but you're not winning anything, Mr Default Font User.
Nice. Hard to hate.
Jon M's Blue Sky car. Nice cloud work.
Very nice, and particularly well posed photos. But you just wait until whenever it is we bother uploading the rest.
We understand if the submitters of the below designs feel the need to sign up an anonymous Blogger account and call us cocks in the Comments bit.
This one's quite poor. It's hardly about UKR at all. Where does all that blue-green come from? And the wavy lines? When's UKR ever been about blue/green wavy lines?
This has a certain Soviet-era simplicity to it. It was good, and the first attempt at doing Sonic - but then we got some better ones.
This one's good. It was one of the first and looked like being a winner for a while. But isn't, as we got some better ones later. Which was a relief.
Yes, very funny, covered in Microsoft finger prints JUST LIKE OUR BOTTOMS. This one's just insolent. We'll have those better ones later today.
A site about games and game paraphernalia and how nothing's as good as we remember it, probably because we used to inhabit a FANTASY WORLD.
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MICRO-BLOG
What are we half-heartedly skimming RIGHT NOW? RECENTLY...
Each post .02% worse than the last. ADVANCE NOTIFICATION OF "CHANGE" LITERALLY 30 PHOTOS FROM A MAN'S "SEGA HONEYMOON" A NASCAR TATTOO THAT TWO MEN THINK LOOKS LIKE DAYT... "EA ANNOUNCES COLLABORATION BETWEEN HOT NEW POP TA... "RICHARD JACQUES STUDIOS CONTINUES TO GO FROM STRE... CODEMASTERS HAS A GO AT 'URBAN' FOR 'FUEL' TRANS-EUROPEAN LARA CROFT STALKING UPDATE NINTENDO WINNING CRITICAL LIFESTYLE PHOTOGRAPHY BA... WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO IDIOT TOYS?
THE HTML ERAS
When men used to till the pages by hand. |
SHOPS
Use our Play or Amazon Shops to buy those shit Wii games you secretly like, helping the effort. ARCHIVES
12 years of wheat and chaff in one vast and impenetrable mass. |
Some updates weren't universally hated by the entire world within seconds of being uploaded.
1. The Animal Crossing Wild World mega-feature and public-service review
2. Sonic CD - screenshot parade
3. Cream The Rabbit sexual diagrams
4. OutRun2 screenshot-taking guide for the benefit of inept journalists
5. The personal UKR SEGA Toys Homestar planetarium review
6. Trying to buy an Xbox 360 in London
7. (STILL) THE MOST AMAZING PROMOTIONAL PHOTOGRAPH OF ALL TIME
8. A trip to GamesMaster (in Peckham)
Links to that blog of yours you started up and were excited about for a whole weekend.
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FRIENDS
Some people we might've MET. Or at least seen in a room and been near. One Thousand Tiny Things I Hate "LIFESTYLE"
Other sites we are happy to officially endorse without requiring Adwords spend. PRIVACY POLICY
Having one is compulsory, apparently. Ours is here. It is not meant to be funny. |
ACQUAINTANCES
People off the internet. Quality and commitment levels may vary. |
It came with the template. Maybe in 2014 we'll jump on board the Twitter train and put that in here. Or a radio. That'd be nice.