Thanks to the amazing device that is... the Argos In-Store Stock Display System! We've had loads of these photos from keen readers - AND WANT MORE.

The brave green box speaks the truth:




This was taken by a reader in Argos, last Friday. PlayStation3 launch day. 33 left. In just one store. 165k? BOLLOCKS.




THEN HE SENT THIS ONE: "I emailed you last Friday with pictures I took in Argos in Lincoln, showing that on launch day they had 33 consoles left. Well, I dropped back in there today and had another look. Needless to say, the results were... a little surprising. 64 of the buggers! Either 31 people were really pissed off with their purchase or Sony decided to add more supply, given that demand is so high..."




Then, yesterday, we got this. This was taken in Argos in Bury. 62 available. In just one store.




And we got this one from somewhere in Northern Ireland. This is not us being crazy, or relying on anecdotal evidence from one or two people. It's a simple fact that PS3 has not sold. 165k is a lie. The truth will come out. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day.

SEND US YOUR LOCAL ARGOS IN-STORE PS3 STOCK COUNT PHOTOS TODAY!
And we'll do an update on them all next week. We'd also like to hear from you if you work in Argos. Just to know how awful it is. And we'd quite like to hear from someone at Chart Track, explaining how PS3 managed to sell precisely 165,000 consoles and not, say, 164,785 or 166,321. Surely it wasn't... A GUESS based on what Sony told you?

Labels: WAR ON PS3

This is surely a joke...




...a joke to think that Mario could ever compete with Sonic.

God knows what that means. Probaly a remake of some rubbish old game no one remembers. Typical SEGA. Never gives us what we want.




There's a new Ratchet and Clank?!

Labels: LIES

This is your fold-out souvenir update celebrating the global end of Sony's gaming ambitions.

These are the triumphant scenes from across the UK, Europe and Australasian territories, as PlayStation3 lies crushed and defeated. We will never forget the brave consumers who resisted until the end on Friday, March 23, 2007.

BIRMINGHAM!
Here's a photo of the midnight launch frenzy at the Birmingham PlayStation3 launch. As you can see, the brave people of Brum stood tall and proudly stayed at home. [from here]




PS3 CRUSHED IN THE MIDLANDS.


SHEFFIELD!
The next day, the sheer humiliation of Sony's defeat was made apparent as launch day arrived in Sheffield. The proud industrial centre has NOT YIELDED ONE INCH to Sony's pathetic scheme.




"After reading all of the hype about PS3 selling out and whatnot I thought I would send this picture I took 20 minutes ago at Virgin Megastore in Sheffield. They have shed-loads of PS3s left and it's more than 30 seconds after launch. I especially like the tiny 425 sticker. Nice. Nuff said."


LONDON!
And of course, our capital stood firm, as it did in beneath Hitler's blitz of 1940 and 1941, and as it will do TIME AND TIME AGAIN whenever threatened by forces of evil.

This is an on-the-spot report from the DISASTER that was the PS3 midnight launch in Ealing Broadway. We've already covered the central London abomination, here's something from the outskirts.




"I remembered seeing Blockbuster in Ealing Broadway had a "Midnight Opening" sign up, so I went for some "hands-on" experience. Unfortunately, I think some irate Nintendo fans were out for blood, as someone drove past while I was watching and waiting outside the shop, and I was egged! Anyway, I managed to snag some photos."




"From the day before, showing the signs up..."




"Five minutes before midnight... that's a couple standing outside, they were the first in. A father and young son turned up around ten past. At about 12:25 a group lads turned up in a car, and one got out and went into the shop but I was getting on the bus to leave at the time. So all in all, they sold two in a half-hour period.




"Here's a picture of the result of my egging, after the culprits had escaped. It happened around 12:15."


NORWAY!
Great news for Sony from Norway - we have a CONFIRMED report that one console has definitely been sold!




SAYS A NORWEGIAN: "This poor bastard pretty much sums up the Norwegian launch. He's the owner of Gamezone in Stavanger and at the end of day one they had only sold one effin machine. Right now this is probably the face of most European store owners."


POLAND!
All you need to know is that "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders". [from here]




THAT AMAZING NEWS AGAIN: "security guards and staff outnumbered those picking up pre-orders".


AUSTRIA!
A text-only communication from a keen UKR reader in Austria:

"Just wanted to report in the failure of the PS3 launch in Vienna, Austria."

"First of all, there were no big midnight launch parties."

"I went by 2 out of the 3 major retailers before the shops opened to find only 3 people waiting at the doors of one, and 8 people waiting at the other (half of which were the mum's of the other half)."

"I even passed a 4th electronic store on the way to the office to find brand new playstations in the window. No one outside, and only staff inside (minus one kid on his way to school playing the Xbox 360 kiosk). As I stopped at the window, a pair of parents walked up and were speaking german to each other something to the fact that their son wanted one, but the father felt that 600 euro is "bankuberfall" (a bank robbery) and they continued walking."

"The resistance is strong in the Osterreich!"

"Chris"

NEWCASTLE!
The historic manufacturing base knows quality workmanship when it sees it - hence the UNIVERSAL SHUNNING of Sony's abysmal and ineffective PlayStation3 in the strong northern base.




"I was just in town today and I decided to take a photo of the sign outside Virgin that was featured on your site. They appear to have only sold FOUR more PS3s in 24 hours. This photo was taken on March 23rd at midday. Keep up the good work lads."


EDINBURGH!
As in numerous historic battles, the Scots provided some of the strongest and bravest resistance of all. We knew they would not let us down as the critical hours passed.




"I was uptown tonight in Edinburgh so thought I'd have a laugh at the spotty/unemployed/games industry people who turned up for the Midnight launch at Gamestation, Game and HMV on Princes Street. I think the picture attached, taken at 00:01, sums it up nicely. HMV was also shockingly bad, with less than 10 people instore at midnight. I'm not a fanboy of any colour, but it's nice seeing a company get a kicking for taking the public for granted - The Tophatron."


AUSTRALIA!
The never-say-die of the Aussies attitude shone through yet again down under.

"At midnight, about 40 PS3 buyers had arrived to collect their consoles, causing distress for the army of camera crews who turned up expecting to capture launch mayhem. Desperate producers unashamedly asked the crowd to fake excitement when the cameras were rolling, while a team from 2Day FM let out bogus cheers to convince their radio listeners that a launch extravaganza was underway."




"Now word from an employee there says they had 600 consoles as they expected hundred of people to arrive, but they sold about 60 in total. Sony spent 6million dollars on this launch, whereas MS spent 1million and the turnout was about 1000 people. What does that tell ya? It tells ya it's a good day to be in PAL Land! Yours joyfully, Mr Pink."


FRANCE!
Easily the biggest shame for Sony yet, where "only 50" people turned up to buy the 1000 PlayStation3s made available at the Paris midnight launch. [from here]




"PS3 launch in Paris was also a failure last night. Only four to five people were at the 'Champs Elysees' to buy Sony's shitty box. And only about 20 more were at the special event at the Eiffel tower to wait for it. Jeux-France has a video of the non-event, including Microsoft's boat floating in front of Sony's on the Seine and Georges Fornay (Sony's president in France) looking really worried about the few people there."




More on Sony's French CATASTROPHE from official French news sources here.

A ROUGH TRANSLATION OF THE FIRST PARAGRAPH:

FRENCH: "La Playstation 3 fait un bide 3000 fans etaient attendus au pied de la tour Eiffel : seule une centaine s'est presentee... L'evenement organise par Sony pour sa PS3 a vire au flop. 95 percent des consoles du magasin ephemere n'ont pas trouve preneur."

ENGLISH: "The Playstation 3 is a flop 3000 fans were expected in front of Eiffel tower: only a hundred came... Sony's event for its PS3 made a flop. 95% of the stock for this temporary shop didn't find a buyer."

Labels: WAR ON PS3

Watching PlayStation3 auctions ending on Ebay right now is the single greatest comedy event of our time. Even better than that bit in Planes, Trains and Automobiles where Steve Martin dries his face on what he thinks is a towel but is actually John Candy's underpants.

Reading Ebay is all we do now, sobbing with joy, as glorious slaughter after glorious slaughter after glorious slaughter unfolds. The world is being cleansed, one idiot at a time.




The errors this seller made here were twofold - (1) buying a PS3, (2) bundling it with the worst launch game of them all. We're usually above using such base phrases, but... TOTAL PWNAGE!! LOL!! Maybe you should try making the font bigger next time?

JUSTICE EXAMPLE #2233657
HA HA HA HA HA HA!

OTHER CASES TO TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION:

Twat

Twat

Twat

Twat

Labels: PR DISASTER

And this is just page one - of TWELVE! This is like turning into a super-hero and beating up all the people you hate, or arriving at the school reunion in a Ferrari with a pregnant Cheryl Tweedy and full head of hair.

THIS IS JUSTICE!




This is the second happiest two days of our lives, just behind the weekend of June 21-22, 1986 - the weekend we discovered wanking.

AND THERE'S THIS:

Dear UKR,

Ebay changed its fees last month for the videogames category. It lowered the price of listing items to about 10p. However, it now takes more in commission off the backend. A whole nine percent! This means that any PS3 needs to sell for more than 463 pounds to break even - and more than that if they buyer pays by Paypal.

I imagine many of the scalpers will look at the ending value and figure they have made some profit - before the sting in the tail next month when the Ebay bill arrives.

Labels: WAR ON PS3

Here are some photos from the London PS3 launch. It was like the opening scenes of 28 Days Later.




There were, literally, no more than 120 queuing people inside, and half of them were journalists. No queues outside. And this was 11pm on the Official Midnight Launch night for all of central London. It was a disaster. Obviously we're bound to say that, but it was. Nobody was interested in the slightest. Today, we are proud to be British.




That's the queue. All of it. The phrase we want to use to describe the clear death of PlayStation is "seismic shift in the national psyche" but that might be a bit over the heads of the 20,000 Gamefaqs readers we've picked up in the last couple of weeks. To put it in simpler terms - "Ps3 is teh doomed".




The London launch also proved how old fashioned Sony's "lifestyle" approach is. 10 years ago, we'd have been wowed by a launch party which featured hired performers, a predictable selection of hip hop music being played too loud and an overly-enthusiastic MC trying to get people to sound excited. Now, though, it's just embarrassing.




A few more disinterested automatons, the last of a dying breed, trudge lifelessly toward the till because they think they have to. It is the same across all of Europe. Today, we have woken up to a better, brighter world. A GREAT DARKNESS HAS BEEN LIFTED FROM US ALL! Sony is over. More photos from the European night of GLORY soon.

Labels: WAR ON PS3

"Commandant Harrison the launch is not going as planned. It seems we have underestimated the resolve of the British."

"Hmm. This is not good news Lieutenant Maguire ......we must instigate Plan B."

"Plan B.....are you sure.....with the money we are already losing on each console?"

"Yes, it's the last resort, we must do something to rescue the situation. Order the truck to deliver the big tellys."

"Er, yes Commandant, right away."

"But Maguire, this must be a secret do you hear? A secret. Do not tell anyone!"

Labels: WAR ON PS3

Some dodgy shopkeeper has spent the afternoon standing in the street, trying to flog PS3s the day before he's supposed to. Naughty, but desperate times...

And, of course, there was no queue or excitement.




If you want one (YOU DON'T, we're being hypothetical) head down to London's cheap electronics/foreign food district now.

Labels: PR DISASTER

Thanks for your submissions and brave work, everyone. It's been a pleasure. You have all made a difference.

When UK:Resistance is crowned King of the New Order, we will ensure that you are all given preferential treatment and shipped off to only the finest of labour camps, with the highest hygiene standards and most generous food rations. We look after our people, here. We will be a much better boss than the old boss.

THE FINAL PUSH:







EYEWITNESS REPORT: "I work in the centre of Sheffield and have been walking past this sign practically every day since Game started taking pre-orders. I particularly like the way that the store manager has had to put 'Remember the Wii?' on the sign to try and scaremonger potential customers into purchasing a piece of shit which they otherwise wouldn't have thought twice about. Well, it hasn't worked, has it?"




EYEWITNESS REPORT: "Find attached two photos I took today in Sheffield. Playtime in Sheffield is ADVERTISING it still has PS3s left. I went in to ask how many they had in the first place but they wouldn't tell me. Sorry about the poor picture quality, I can't afford a decent camera because I gave all my money to Sega back in 2001".




ADDITIONAL INFORMATION ABOUT 'PLAYTIME': "Playtime is an interesting shop because the owner can't stand Nintendo and the other main guy who works there only buys Nintendo consoles. I don't think there's ever been a time when I've walked in and they haven't been arguing about Nintendo. If only they would learn..."




"I work at Blockbusters and the past 4 weeks has just been a relentless push on pre-orders for the PS3. We were told that Sony could guarantee that every pre-order would be honoured. Blockbuster seem to think that they are bum chums with Sony. We can't shift them for love nor money. In fact, the only 2 we have pre-ordered were from the same guy and he even told me that he was going to Ebay them to make a tidy profit. What a twat. As the launch date has been approaching and units still not being shifted in the quantities expected we were told by higher management to leave "two interesting facts that customers might not know about the PS3" on the company voicemail that we could then pass on the grateful public. Frankly, most of the facts given were beyond lame. Example: Did you know that the PS3 is portable? You can move it about. Gee, thanks. Example 2: Did you know that the PS3 is multi-region and will play DVDs and Blu-Rays from around the world. Er, no it fucking well can't. Honestly, it's getting embarrassing."




YES: Is the new PlayStation 3 doomed to failure?






ON THE SPOT REPORT: "HMV in the centre of Oxford has been advertising pre-orders for the last two weeks. Yesterday, they resorted to touting their pre-order allocation as some kind of reverse psychology incentive. Needless to say, the number was the same today.




"Meanwhile, Virgin across the street has also had a sign outside advertising its pre-orders for the last week or so. Doesn't look like they're having much luck either."




"Just went to an eb games in auckland new zealand and asked them how many consoles they have left for pre order and they said only a few, then I overhear a conversation the manager has with another store and hear him say "it's not going too well we've only had 30 pre-orders" so they are struggling to get rid of them over here... the ps3 is dead!!"




DENMARK!




ALTRINCHAM!




MIDDLESBROUGH!




NEWCASTLE!




ABERDEEN!




HULL!




HULL!




HULL!




HULL!




"Here's some potentially interesting data that shows the complete lack of interest in the PS3 that I came across today. "The share of UK Internet searches for 'playstation 3' increased 14% in the past four weeks." - Ha ha ha, totally toss."


NEVER TRUST THE ITALIANS AT A TIME OF WAR:
http://www.gamesindustry.biz/content_page.php?aid=23664




"Speaking to GamesIndustry.biz, Virgin's promotions and PR manager Stephen Lynn said he wasn't disappointed by the level of turnout on Wednesday. "I'm delighted that we've got anyone at all, to be honest."




"Thought you might be interested in a message I saw on a board: "Where I work, we originally started a couple of weeks ago with a sign that said "Only 12 PS3s left!" A couple of days later, that changed to "Only six left!" It is now sitting at "Only two left!" We have not sold any since the "12 left" sign"




"The PS3 Launch line up is so exciting that if you buy on a PS3 at HMV, they are offering you a PS2 port of a PSP port of a PS2 game that came out in 2002 for only £10! Assuming it runs on your PS3, this means you can be playing this great game for only FOUR HUNDRED AND THIRTY FIVE POUNDS - what a launch!"








That just about wraps things up.

Labels: WAR ON PS3